Well, look what the dog dragged in.

Spring is a-comin' and although the weather is less than perfect, I still get excited every so often to walk my dog. And I get even more excited that I don't have to put on ridiculous Paw-Tectors on her. And SHE gets even more excited because well... I take her on longer walks. Lets face it, folks. No one wants to brave the cold. I sure as hell don't. So, the walks are short. I'm sorry, Cassie. I love you anyway.

Anyhoodles, Today I was feeling ESPECIALLY nice and woke up relatively early, which means an even LONGER walk. Around the neighborhood, down the street and too many miles later. We are headed home. Stopping to sniff a lot, pee a little here, poop there. You know the deal. It's never different, but exciting nonetheless. Suddenly, she was EXTRA excited to get inside the house. I figured - ahh what the heck, maybe she's just tired. I sure am! And so half skipping to keep up with her, we got back.

As I am relaxing, Cassie is tugging and playing with something. Per usual, I'm thinking it is one of the many toys I've spoiled given her MANY toys. It's not big deal. But then she begins to cough, and shes choking. And folks, I don't know cpr on dogs. I didn't know until this point that if necessary, I'd have to perform it. And I can't see a dog hopeless. And here she is coughing, slamming on the floor, jumping all over me with this look in her eye. I am helpless and damn scared. And then something happened. She jumps off of me and does one mean cough. And then barks. And walks away. And the present she left me was well.. Okay. She was playing with a freakin' used Condom.

....

I stared. And then looked at her, happily jumping around. And then I stared at it again. I'm not sure if it was disgust, disbelief or what. But I couldn't move. My dog was choking on someones used Condom. No. No, my dog brought in a used Condom into my room! What the hell. And then I proceeded to chase her around the house out of anger. I then went on operation Get Condom Out. Suited in gloves and a bag, off it went. Into the trash. I don't know what the hell my neighbors are doing, but attempting to kill my dog via used Condom? That's not even cool.