TMI Thursday - When keeping it real goes wrong.

It's that time again. Humiliate yourself, or revel in others humiliation. TMI Thursdays! Yay, thanks Lilu. ha.

I hate when people bring this story up because I turn bright red, even though I'm extremely tanned. And although that regretful night is long past gone, I still get the same feeling of wanting the floor to eat me right where I am. And usually, I just sort of start chanting "nanananan" while covering my ears as my friends laugh at my expense. It isn't very nice.

Whether or not you know this, you know this now. Jose Cuervo and I go back. WAY back. Jose is my PAL. He is my best friend and he got me through many many nights. He is also a bad friend, encouraging me to do bad things. Bad bad things. Bad things like attempt to rape someone and throw up everywhere right after. What?

*sigh* Here we go.

I love my friends, and I love to party with them. So, when the opportunity to get trashed on GWs campus was given - I jumped at the chance. Rich guys AND booze? I'm down. I am SO down. What began as meaningless beer consumption and rock band, turned into a full fledge - Icanoutdrinkyouwatchmegostupidfratboy. And there I was. Sitting at some strangers kitchen table. Going head to head on tequila shots. All 120 lbs of me, against this 200 lb frat boy with the alcohol capacity of a giant. But I was DETERMINED. I was going to WIN this. I am a PRO at Tequila for godsake. I WILL DRINK YOU UNDER THE TABLE! (all of these things I shouted.)

I'm not really sure what did it. It could have been shot number 8, or it could have been the cheers that I was still standing - that I had not given up. That I was indeed the woman of all woman. After every shot, it began to taste like water and I watched this frat boy wince and wince and wither away. I was winning! YES! But then things began to blur. And only bits and pieces were coming together. I remember having a heart to heart with this frat boy. I remember him telling me about his girlfriend he was going to propose to this summer. And then I remember throwing myself on him. In a drunken stupor did I think that attempting to rape a boy who was about to propse was hot? WTF was I thinking?

And then it happened. Beer tears. Flowing. Everywhere. Convulsing. I could not stop. All I kept saying was, "I am such a horrible person. I didn't mean to try to rape you. I don't know why I did that. I think you should call your fiance. I should call her. I am so sorry. I am so sorry. I am so sorry." Until he told me to stop apologizing. He was rather nice about the entire 5 second scenario. And then something awkward happened. This was, alas, right after I found out my boyfriend (or rather ex boyfriend) didn't feel the same way about me after three years. And so, I began to cry about not being wanted. About not ever getting proposed to.

And then I got angry. And folkes, angry drunk with me seems to be very different. What happened next is what makes me hate my life everyday.

I went into the bathroom, I shouted "IF NO ONE WANTS ME - THEN F*CK THEM!". I opened the bathroom cabinet under the sink. And proceeded to throw up in there. I casually got up, told them I had a present for them. And passed out.

I never did go back there, you know. But I did apologize via the ever so classy FB message. Jose, you are no longer my friend.