Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor as Thyself

I am a relatively nice, cuddly person. My personality is simply peppered with too much wit and sarcasm. Or a lot of wit and sarcasm. And I have anger issues. MAJOR anger more so towards the ignorant. I am small, but I am feisty. And I am perfectly okay with that.

But seriously, I fucking hate my neighbor.

She is the most ridiculous woman I have ever set eyes on ever. She is in her late 50s, maybe even pushing 60. Drives a Lexus SUV, wears clothing I don't even dare put on, and blasts P!nk and Katy Perry at retarded hours. This woman is having a late-life crisis, I think -- and she's taking the world down with her.

Let me paint a picture for you, folks.

Last night, I decided that I didn't want to drink. I was going to be DD (shocker). 3am rolls around, and after finally putting every in their safe havens - I head home. Finally making it home, I see that my crazy neighbor is in her driveway, dancing. She has the lights on, all of her windows from her car are down and as I get out of my car my ears are met with, "I kissed a girl and I likkkeddd itttt..." while this woman rocked her hips, hands flapping above her head. I was shocked. IT'S 3AM ON A THURSDAY LADY - WTF?

I stared for a second, contemplated what I should do next and figured that since it's a week day and someone around here HAS to be annoyed. I confronted her. I told her it was late and that she should probably put her music down. And she says to me, "Is Thursday a sacred day around here?"

And I replied with, "Not everyone is retired and having second thoughts about old age."

That'll teach her!