If All Sins Came Together To Be One Thing It Would Be This Blind Date

"Where have you been!?" I've been asked. "Why aren't you blogging!?" is also another common one. Well, my 2 loyal readers. Here is why: Because school is eating me alive and I am hiding from quite possibly the worst blind date known to all humans. Oh, you want me to tell you the story? Okay.

In the past couple of weeks I've been hassled that it is time to set forth and enjoy the years I have to come. I have been told that while heartbreak tends to be inevitable, there is no time like today to grasp the fish that are in the sea or some other rendition of "getoffyourassandgetoutthere" type thing. So, naturally, I said - "Alright, set me up" but I also added the tidbit of "Get me stupid drunk first" in there. And so, they did. And at first, things were fun. He was cute, this guy. Always had a smile on his face and seemed to be having fun. Until, that is, Midnight hit and transformations began. Reliving this moment is giving me all the ills from the night. Should I do this in bullet form? I think so.

- He became ridiculously attached. As if we had been dating for years. If a guy smiled at me, he gave him the evil eye. It was WEIRD.
- He answered questions FOR me. I thought I was my own person? Wait. I don't even know you!?
- He decided that Vodka&Cranberry was my drink of choice. I hate Vodka. I kept giving my drink away, and a new one would arrive. I even told him I didn't like Vodka. His response? "Tonight you do."
- 4 beers was all it took for him to become nearly belligerent. And even more annoying, which I didn't know was possible.
- He told me that when we got married, he wanted me to be a stay at home mother. We hadn't even made it to first base and we're discussing marriage? No.
- Oh, we were also going to have three kids.
- A dog, too.
- "No one says no to me, girl. NO ONE."
- His attempt to make out with me was slamming me into a wall and grabbing my face. My reaction? A kick to the balls. HE SCARED ME.
- Since I was no good, he started making out with the drunkest girl there.

And then he proceeded to sit on a bar stool and pass out.

I didn't even know people like this actually existed. Seriously.