But I thought we were friends?

So, maybe it's early in the week to share an embarrassing story - but you know what? Why not. You'll get a double dose.

When I first started getting internships over the summer, I was extremely passionate for the whole dressing up thing. Something about clanking down a sidewalk in killer heels and sexy ass skirt screamed "awesome" to me. I like to dress up in business attire, I think it's awesome. So much so, I think I probably turn myself on. Too much?
Unfortunately for me, I am not a morning person. I never have been, which is probably why I have developed the need for caffeine in my system every day of my life. My body is solely dependent on any dose of caffeine in the morning, afternoon and sometimes evening in order to survive. Coffee, Diet Coke, anything. I need it or I am Miss Cranky Pants and I hate your life. I'm telling you -- if I could inject it in my veins like a heroine addict, I'd be shooting up like it was my job.

Anyhoodles, I think my body is now rejecting caffeine. I kid you not. And it's devastating, I have no idea what to do with myself. This morning, I did my normal pit stop before class for a Venti Coffee. Black. Per usual. Except my body did something it never does before -- things started a rumblin' and coffee suddenly wasn't tasting as amazing as it usually does. And it took a second to realize that if I didn't throw this cup away and hurry to the bathroom, things that should not happen outside of your own four walls would ensue. I was in straight up panick mode at 8am this morning folkes, dead in the middle of campus. I mean, have you seen marylands campus? No?

Oh okay, this is it:

http://www.transportation.umd.edu/2008Map.pdf

Needless to say, I attempted to run to the nearest building and failed. I am 20 years old, folkes. And for a second I felt and looked like a 90 year old man that literally could not hold their personal fluids.

Dear Caffeine,

It's been real. We've had a long run. But I think we're going to have to take a break for a while. You have failed me and caused me immense amount of embarassment. I curse you and I'm saddened that you could do me so wrong. Don't take it personally, but I do. And that' just ain't cool. I thought we were close, I thought we had potential. I see you had other things planned. Thanks for nothing.

Sincerely,

JJ