Apr 9, 2009

TMI Thursdays: Bare Asses Need Public Humiliation, Too.

Ah yes, here we are. TMI Thursdays - brilliant. Thank LiLu for the craziness. Share your most humiliating, disgusting, grotesque, vomit-inducing, cringeful story - or just laugh at ours. Nevertheless, TMI THURSDAYS here we go!
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Every female remembers their first drunk squat. You know what I'm talking about, when you're half past too drunk and you really have to pee. Like it just can not wait, so your friend suggests you pop a squat, and you're SO dang excited that you try - gripping air and wobbling, pulling at your pants so you don't get pee on them, giggling at the difficulty and releasing. Ah the pleasure, but oh the pain - when popping a squat goes wrong, eh?

We were at our senior beach week in good ol' Ocean City and we pretty much thought we were the shit. Had a sweet ass hotel room, ridiculous amount of alcohol, and every senior class you could think of was occupying a room in every beachfront hotel. It was like Cancun, only less crazy. A different type of crazy, I'd say. I always tell people - definitely go to OC for your beachweek, you will come back with stories. And they always do. This time being no different.

Between the haze of being drunk at 6pm, and the sun beating down on us - I felt the familiar tinkle that occurs down there. I had to pee, but I didn't want to break the seal. Not yet! I was on a roll! And to top if all off, the bathroom was a hell of a lot further then I realized. And if you've ever been to Ocean City, you know what I'm talking about. So, the trek began. My friends and I decided to walk towards the boardwalk, and see if we could get under it. Laughing too hard, stumbling everywhere, we found it. Everyone sat down - we were way too drunk to move any further. Some even decided to take naps. I, however, still really had to pee. So, I walked closer towards the shore and just popped a squat -- broad daylight, in front of everyone. And then, I was asleep.

I shit you not, I fell asleep. Well, I fell forward, ate a ton of sand, and then proceeded to fall asleep.

I woke up to someone poking me, or really something poking my bare ass. In confusion, I look up and it's a city cop. All of my friends were sitting in a circle trying not to giggle because they were in trouble, and I was the miserable chump with my ass in the air.

Did I mention we drew a crowd? Yeah. That pretty much set the mood for the rest of the week.

4 comments:

rachaelgking said...

OH man. I've been caught by strangers, but never a cop!!! At least he let you go!

Happy TMIT, babe.

Anonymous said...

Caught bare assed by a cop. Classic TMI!

PorkStar said...

lol that was funny... the cop must have gotten a good look too, them fools.

Zan said...

OMG! My jaw is still on the floor! Bwahahaha! (Insert dirty joke about men in uniform and "nightsticks" here...heh, heh....)